Archive for: ‘July 2016’

4th of July

July 4, 2016 Posted by Deb

Iowa City Jazz Fest

Iowa City Jazz Fest

Trimaran on Lake McBride

Trimaran on Lake McBride

Earplugs In, Ready for Concert

Earplugs In, Ready for Concert

Oakridge Boys

Oakridge Boys

Fireworks and Marti's Concert Over the Mississippi in Muscatine

Fireworks and Marti’s Concert Over the Mississippi in Muscatine

A Cowboy from Honduras (Late Entry)

July 2, 2016 Posted by Deb

He and his wife sat next to me on the flight from San Pedro Sula to Dallas. We didn’t end up in Dallas, but that’s another story. He was between 65 and 90, leather face, cowboy hat, boots, and belt buckle. I knew it was their first flight from the white knuckle grip on each other and the chair and they were both glued to the window on takeoff. He started fidgeting when the TV screen in front of him came on and eventually leaned over to me (very close) and said “No puedo pagar” which means he couldn’t pay for the TV. I told him it was free and eventually reached over and turned it off to calm him down.HonduranWagon

I imagine the years on horseback did a number on his prostate because it wasn’t long before he asked me to let him out. The four attendants had just moved the two carts up the aisle and the back was empty. He headed back to the back, and I walked up to talk to Deb. A few minutes after we got back in our seats, one of the older lady flight attendants hurried up the aisle to the others and they all swarmed the kitchen area. The Honduran cowboy had taken a leak in the kitchen. The male flight attendant came straight to me and said something like “Didn’t you see him … couldn’t you have helped him?” Before I got a word out in my defense, he was talking in Spanish to the cowboy. They got him up and gave him Bathroom 101 lessons and told me to let them know if he got up again. He got up three more times and they gave him Bathroom 101 each time. Of course, they also took him to the head of the line which was a nice side benefit.

So … the flight crew locked themselves in for the landing approach, I could see my cowboy neighbor grabbing his crotch again, and I knew trouble was coming. He finally said he had to get up again, I told him it was not possible, and pointed at the signs. He begged and I unbuckled and got up to the yelling of the flight crew quoting FAA regulations and telling me I had to sit down (with great authority). I did and told the cowboy it was not going to happen. He finally climbed over me to great fanfare from the flight crew. Another woman about four rows up saw that he was up and decided it was OK so it was looking like the cowboy had started a revolt. The male flight attendant finally unbuckled, hustled the cowboy into the bathroom, and spun the lady waiting in the aisle back to her seat.

You can’t make this stuff up.